It's the middle of January, and heat-seeking bikini bombshells carpet the beach, bronzing the winter pallor from their pampered flesh. There's a special buzz in the air that grows louder as the beautiful people get amped for another night of seeing ...

The robbers also took TVs, stereos, cameras, two computers, an antique gun collection, financial documents, a Blue Nile diamond bracelet and other custom jewelry, watches, several purses, luggage, six women's bikini bathing suits, a Seahawks Santa ...

That?s because in 10,000 B.C. there were only two women around. And one of them was old and freaky and didn?t even have the good taste to fashion herself a bikini out of animal pelts. Also? Gays built the pyramids. Always making pretty things ...